Can Murder be Legal if it's a Community Service?

Ahhh, Xmas fill-ins on radio.... Whilst alledged radio "personalities" are on Xmas holidays, radio stations from coast to coast have replaced their regular morning teams with Summer fill-ins.

Their regular "high-profile" team members are taking, and I quote, "A well deserved rest, before the start of the new year". Yes, how exhausting it must be to be that consistently un-funny! I mean man oh man, commercial radio in this country really does melt your brain, and probably is the main reason why road rage seems to be on the increase amongst the morning commuter-traffic crowd.

Now what is the point of this I hear you ask? What's Ginger complaning about today? Why is this blog such a whinge-fest? Well I'll tell you...

One of the neat Xmas gifts Mrs Ginger & I received this year was one of those waterproof shower radios - you know the ones, they have a big suction cup on them so you can stick them to your shower screen or tiles, and then listen to the radio whilst you're washing your hair. I've never had one of these before, so it was with some anticipation that I jumped under the shower this morning, and tuned the radio into whatever station I could find that wasn't too offensive.

Here in Melbourne there is a "Golden Oldies" station called Gold 104, which I know has affiliates in both Sydney & Bris-vegas, and although a recent radio survey revealed that it plays more advertisements per hour than any other station in the country, it often plays those classic Led Zep/Stones/Beatles/Kinks/The Who tracks which are just grouse, and can be absorbed easily after one too many reds the night before.

So I've tuned the radio into the "Gold" station only to find the regular hosts, "Grubby & Dee Dee" (mercifully) on holidays, which can only be a blessing as they are at the top of the pile in terms of dumb-arse radio. Their replacement is a guy affectionately known as "Huggy", whom (disappointingly) has nothing at all to do with Antonio Fargas, the fedora-wearing, king of the pimp-daddys from the original "Starsky & Hutch" TV series. "Huggy" had just finished playing "I Can See for Miles" by The Who, and as the first guitar lines of "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac commenced (a horrifying thought all on it's own), he made the following comment. Now this is not a direct quote, but this is pretty much what he said :

"Now for the song which Bill Clinton used to be re-elected into the White House - he managed to find the little room out the back all on his own though, here's the Mac..."

With that, I yelled "You Fuckwit!", which of course caused Mrs Ginger to come a-running - "What's wrong?" she asked, as I stood starkers in the shower, now making that sound effect for Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho" used when Anthony Perkins was stabbing Janet Lee, and making the stabbing motion towards the new radio...

"This knob on the radio just got himself a contract put on his head", and went on to advise the good woman what crime had just transpired.

It was after this, as we munched on our toast, when I turned to the good lady and asked whether she thought it was a bit harsh if I should wish harm to come upon "Huggy" for not just making that stupid comment, and playing such lame music (adnauseum), but because he represented part of the reason why this country's mainstream media is so crap. Gold 104 and their many other contemporaries represent what Australia seems to be striving for - mediocrity!

They play shit music, for mindless fools, and wrap it in brainless ads for useless products, all presented by ego-centric losers whom should be stabbed in the eye with a fork for prolonging the agony of commercial radio!

This is why I support community radio, as there is no hidden agenda, and if the presenters or the songs they play do not provoke thought, discussion or toe-tapping, they get relegated to the grave yard shift, or off the air entirely. Viva la difference the likes of Triple R & PBS provide this fair city, and I just hope that more non-profit ideals and genuinely interesting entertainment are continued to be embraced by discerning folk far into the future.

Oh yes, I've included a photo of "Huggy" form the Gold 104 website, so if you see this guy on the street, you have Ginger's permission to knee cap him, spit in his eye, and kick him the bollocks, but only if you sing "Don't Stop" whilst doing so...

Personalised (vanity) Plates - part # 1

I've been meaning to post something on this, my oh-so-favourite fad of modern life in this country (or at least in this city), for so long, that I'm absolutely delighted to present the first in what I hope to be a series of photos I've snapped of personalised number plates.
No one else seems to be posting images of them online, which I can't understand, as I'm sure I'm not alone in my kitsch fascination of them. My only regret is that it would be far too risky to attempt to get photos of the drivers of said vehicles adorning these ego-enlargers, as generally there is a direct correlation between a personalised plate and a distinct lack of grey matter. In other words, you would never ridicule a 300kg silverback gorilla about having a hairy arse, because it would not comprehend your witty aside, he would only rip you apart (unless you happened to be a polar bear - but that's a whole other topic for a whole other blog installment). Otherwise, I'd have a photo of them as an inset on the plate.
I hope I'm not peaking too early with this first installment, but here we go - this was taken on Chapel Street in South Yarra, the home of absolute wankers in this city, which was adorning a VW Beetle (one of those really ugly ones which came out a few years back, and are only ever driven by fuckwits or stupid fashionistas).

My Heart Bleeds (Not!)...

Got home late last night & switched on the telly to find that a certain serial-arsehole has retired from cricket. I know he's supposed to be the best bowler of all time, but you know what, I don't care.
Now, I can only gather my opinions from the media as I don't know Shane Warne, but I do know cricket players, and they make Aussie Rules footballers seem like refined pillars of society in comparison to the rabble in white. Suffice it to say, Warney is the king of the bogans, and his immediate departure from my field of vision can't come quick enough. I know the "Footy Show" mentality of the majority of this country will be in mourning today, including the Joke we have as a leader, but I can't wait 'till he appears on the Aussie version of "I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here", and is lost (forever) in the wilds of West Sunshine.
So to you Shane Warne, I offer the following :
Get fat, get bald and get fucked!

Australia's Favourite Album (aka Why I Hate middle-class Australia)

Well, last night "My Favourite Album" was broadcast on the ABC, and I must say that even though I totally respect Myf Warhurst (& not just her abundant cleavage), I found the show to be a little lacking. I understand that it was television, and therefore an attempt to make it entertaining was made, however the selection of Judith Lucy & Chas from "The Chaser" was a bit like inviting Idi Amin as a guest speaker at the next "Make Poverty History" concert. They were total crap, and that's coming form me who's a fan of both comics!!!
As for the list, well it was always going to be subjective, as musical taste in my experience, is a more volatile subject than religion & politics combined.

Anyway, enough of my yacking, here's the list of all 100 finalists and my comments, so draw your own conclusions :

1–10
Pink Floyd — Dark Side Of The Moon - captures a moment in time, just not MY time, so this album is irrelevant to me as I can be spaced out by many other albums after a couple of joints...
Jeff Buckley — Grace - I'm really surprised this made it, but I'm glad, as it's beautiful.
Radiohead — Ok Computer - ditto
The Beatles — Abbey Road - this is well-deserved
The Beatles — Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - where this one is a bit to cute
Nirvana — Nevermind - Black Sabbath meets The Pixies and a million marketing guys go crazy. Good but not top 10 fodder!
Led Zeppelin — Led Zeppelin 4 - hippie drivel - where was Led Zeppelin 2?
Red Hot Chili Peppers — Blood Sugar Sex Magik - dated & ego-centric - you can almost here these guys saying "check out my abs, check out my lats, check out my bank account"
Meat Loaf — Bat Out Of Hell - a million bogans can't be wrong
U2 — The Joshua Tree - the Unforgettable Fire Part 2, except this was a bit better. I love U2 - let's move on...
11–20
Pink Floyd — Wish You Were Here - this list has been attacked by bloody baby-boomers
The Beatles — The Beatles - White Album - nice choice, though I wonder how many of those whom voted for this skip over "Revoultion 9"?
The Beatles — Revolver - now we're talking! Farken Unrool...
Pink Floyd — The Wall - please, if yr over 50, just fuck off!
Radiohead — The Bends - I'm still gob-smacked about OK Computer, so this is a great selection...
Neil Diamond — Hot August Night - I bet my mum voted for this. Not as good as "Live at the Trocadero '69"
Neil Young — Harvest - nice, two thumbs up!
Carole King — Tapestry - stick to sorting out your super Grandad, and get out of this list...
Pearl Jam — Ten - never as good as Nevermind...
Fleetwood Mac — Rumours - reminds me of what the radio was like when I was a kid (aka shit). I hate this because there's thousands of middle-aged women in this country whom think they can still pull off the Stevie Nicks look.
21–30
Tool — Aenima - isn't this the capital of Slovakia? Don't know this band too well - sounds a bit heavy & emo for my tastes. I'll take Australia's word for it...
Bob Dylan — Blood On The Tracks - You know what, I like Bob Dylan, but have never really got into any specific albums, so again, I'll take the nation's word for it.
Midnight Oil — 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 - phew! It's guilty pleasure time - I love this album like very few others, and actually wore out my original vinyl pressing of it. Should have been top 10. Feel like it's one of my good mates who's always been there for me.
Silverchair — Diorama - I respect Silverchair, but will just say OK, as I don't have this & haven't heard it.
AC/DC — Back In Black - My Year 8 graphics classes sounded much better than just listening to Brother Kennedy because of this album. Love this record, but miss Bon Scott - he would've made this number 1.
The Clash — London Calling - is my cred shot if I admit to not having heard this all the way through? Props to the Clash, but I joined their party when "Rock the Casbah" came out.
The Whitlams — Eternal Nightcap - The Shitlams - 'nuff said...
Queen — A night at the Opera - the generation after the boomers shit me almost as much. Not a fan of Queen, but think Prince Harry rocks!
The Pixies — Doolittle - ahhh, sanity prevails. Straight to the Trophey Room!
Missy Higgins — The Sound Of White - sounds a bit too much like whinging to me. Where's "Delta Dawn" by Helen Reddy?
31–40
Paul Simon — Graceland - Chevy Chase should have been shot for endorsing this crock. Represents nearly everything bland about the eighties.
Anthony Callea — Anthony Callea - not into midgets, unless they're wearing velcro.
U2 — Achtung Baby - now we're talking! Love this to death - the kick drum in "Mysterious Ways" is still rockin'...
David Bowie — Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from Mars - Bowie + Ronson = :-)
Radiohead — Kid A - how the Hell? Must have been a lot of depressed people given internet access instead of Prozac for this to make it. The Pyramid Song is great, but it ain't no toe-tapping dance hall fave... This list is curious!
The Beatles — Rubber Soul - yep, top ten - great stuff. Beep Beep Yeah!
The Stone Roses — Stone Roses - Fool's Gold is the soundtrack of my early twenties - wicked man!
Wolfmother — Wolfmother - we had Nirvana, so we don't need another Sabbath. Good hair though...
Oasis — What's The Story Morning Glory - prefer Definitely Maybe, but this has "Champaigne Supernova", so fair enuff...
Tool — Lateralus - another Eastern European sea port? No idea...
41–50
Coldplay — A Rush of Blood to the Head – they’re not The Verve
Bob Dylan — Highway 61 – again, it’s probably fabulous, I just wouldn’t know…
Sex Pistols — Never Mind the Bollocks – #43? That’s a bit insulting – a landmark just because it offended so many in the establishment…
Van Morrison — Astral Weeks – bloody boomers are at it again…
The Living End — The Living End – you go Living End! Everything rock should be, fun, energetic, and a bit dangerous..
The Strokes — Is this It? – Love this record – when they supported You Am I, you could almost see Tim Rogers turn green with envy…
Silverchair — Neon Ballroom – Like I said earlier, love the ‘chair, just don’t know the albums…
The Eagles — Hotel California – Dr Hook without the eye patch – need I say more?
The Smiths — The Queen Is Dead – Sheila Take a Bow!
You Am I — Hourly Daily – Not as good as Hi-Fi Way, but a ripper – Baby Clothes, Good Morning, Mr Milk…
51–60
The Cure — Disintegration – being this morbid was never as much fun after this – Fascination Street still kicks…
Bob Dylan — Blonde On Blonde – Enough with the Dylan records, we know he’s a god, ok?
Lou Reed — Transformer – if for nothing else, this record is great because of “It Was a Perfect Day”….
Bruce Springsteen — Born To Run – Before Courtney Cox got up onstage with him in that shit video for that shit song, Bruce was great, so “Wrap your hands across my Engines!”
Red Hot Chili Peppers — Californication – nope, not even close – they were already a parody of themselves at this stage
Metallica — Master of Puppets – Ride the Lightning was better, but this still rocks, in a blue singlet, drinking VB, playing air guitar kind of way…
Cat Stevens — Tea for the Tillerman – no idea, but I do like Yusuf Islam…
R.E.M — Automatic For The People – where’s Document?
Muse — Absolution – they’re not Radiohead
Joni Mitchell — Blue – no one over 55 should have internet access!
61–70
Prince — Purple Rain – fabulous, and I’m glad it made & not Diamonds & Pearls…
ABBA — Arrival – SOS!
Elton John — Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – evil Elton! I guess it’s not as bad as :
Dire Straits — Brothers In Arms – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Miles Davis — Kind of Blue – look up cool in the Oxford, and this will instantly start playing – fabulous because it’s before Miles discovered LSD!!!
Cold Chisel — East – Could’ve been worse, could’ve been “Working Class Man”
The Smashing Pumpkins — Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness – you’re kidding! Did people actually buy this crapola?
The Who — Who's Next – The greatest air guitar & air drums album of all time. Brilliant from beginning to end…
Yes — Close To The Edge – nope, no Prog Rock for this Ginger
Deep Purple — Machine Head – why didn’t this pole higher than Wolfmother?
71–80
Rage Against The Machine — Rage Against The Machine – a great moment in time…
Green Day — American Idiot – Smart lyrics, and great songwriting which seem to be getting better with age
Guns N Roses — Appetite For Destruction – was crap then, and guess what? It still is! And they’re touring in the States again – Osama, you have a new target!
INXS — Kick – Hutchy confused me – he was always a bit of a dickhead, but on this record he seemed cool. Tim Farris is still a wanker, but Never Tears Us Apart is great.
David Bowie — Hunky Dory – should be top 5
The Smashing Pumpkins — Siamese Dream – my old housemate Teddy played this 10 times a day for a whole year and I don’t hate it today – says something I guess…
Def Leppard — Hysteria – should have been Pyromania, but all due respect for the one-armed drummer! Big hair rock anthems in all their hideous glory!
Foo Fighters — The Colour and The Shape – should have been the first record, but it does have “Evermore” on it…
U2 — Rattle and Hum – Great for all the wrong reasons – stadium rock, grainy black & white rock God photos, yet they pulled it off – gotta love “Desire”…
Delta Goodrem — Innocent Eyes – Sorry, feigning a terminal illness does not a career make…
81–90
John Farnham — Whispering Jack – the epitome of what was bad about Australian music in the eighties – should never be forgiven, nor should those whom voted for this…
You Am I — Hi Fi Way –This is why Australian music will save the world.
Darren Hayes — The Tension & The Spark – don’t know it, but it’s the bloke from Savage Garden, yes? That says it all….
Crowded House — Woodface – Neil Finn is God.
Live — Throwing Copper – Christian bullshit…
Nine Inch Nails — The Downward Spiral – before emo there was goth, but soon after came the mighty Nine Inch Nails – should be higher for their rock pose 101 performance at the BDO in 2000
Massive Attack — Blue Lines – Unfinished Symphony is one of THE songs of the nineties.
Led Zeppelin — Led Zeppelin 2 – at last – Ramble On beats Stairway to Heaven anyday…
Mike Oldfield — Tubular Bells – either this Jean Michael Jarre, or Kraftwerk needed to be here
Radio Birdman — Radios Appear – yeesssssss!
91–100
Ben Folds Five — Whatever and Ever Amen – American whiner rock - now lives in Adelaide. Says it all really….
Crowded House — Crowded House – Now We’re getting Somewhere - great record, poor haircuts….
Powderfinger — Vulture Street – the closest thing we’ll ever get to breeding a stadium rock band – go the ‘Finger!
The Killers — Hot Fuss – I’ll take their word for it…
The Rolling Stones — Sticky Fingers – a disgrace that this was NOT number 3 or number 4…
Silverchair — Frogstomp – their defence is that they were only 16 – they did wear an Even shirt at the MTV awards in 96 though, so good on them…
Queens Of The Stone Age — Songs For The Deaf – because of Mark Lanegan…
Portishead — Dummy – a time-capsule of the sound of London circa 93…
Soundgarden — Superunknown – this rocks!
The Velvet Underground & Nico — The Velvet Underground & Nico – proves that this list is backwards. Should have been number one…